Excuse me; did I hear you say that a person surfaces three times before he drowns? Are you a Lifeguard or an Economist??

Once Journalists recognize truth and report it, this Administration will implode into a tremendous Black Hole. Hold on tight!

Recently surfaced documents found in a small closet in Philadelphia revealed: Life, Liberty, The Pursuit of Happiness, and The right to make your own bed. Interesting!

Enough already!!! Signed: The Founding Fathers.

Kids welcome to your first day of Kindergarten. Before we play with the blocks, remember that our government does not create wealth; only private industry can create wealth. OK let’s play!

Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the Coliseum! Today’s topic: How to enjoy a well-funded Pension Plan. Raise your hand if you do not work for the government. Raise your hand. Can anyone hear me--my microphone must be broken! Next week’s topic: The ever-increasing Property Tax Rates.

Fact or folly: I have done my homework-- America's future debt is astronomical. China owns it. We can't do to them what the government did to the Chrysler bond holders. Therefore, eventually we'll need to cede the western States to China. Zaijian California, Washington, and Oregon.

KISS (keep it simple stupid) - Free people are friends with Americans and America--just ask a re-nationalized Iraqi.

The only thing constant in life is change--unless you're a Union Leader!

The CIA protects each man, women, and child in this great country, however the kids in congress say, “The CIA is lying, the CIA is lying, the CIA is lying.” No wonder the sales of firearms are skyrocketing!

Where does the water go--that water that stays on when you stay in the shower too long--that water that stays on when you brush your teeth too long? Does it leave the Universe? I don’t think so! Wait, let’s call the Green Commission.

Mommy somebody is at the door! Who is he? He is from the government and wants to make us breakfast and spoon feed us. CLOSE THE DOOR!!!