Where are my car keys--damn you George Bush!

Do you wonder why there are 50 states in the Union. Our Founding Fathers were ingenious--we can move to any one of the three successful ones at any time!

Today both public and private unions are stronger—I worked 18 hours a day, strived for good grades, made money. Now I’m going on strike—I’ll let the government workers pay the bills.

Congressional Fire Drill—all members locate rear door asap; the American people are storming the front door!

Listen up, the fundamentals of the economy are just fine-you and me!

God bless our political leadership. Their low-income housing program is a complete success: we all live there!

Sit down--take a deep breath--rally your friends--Global Warming is not man made--Yes it's the truth! Now don't you feel better?

Politically, you were sold a bill of goods; no, I bought what I thought I wanted... Exactly.

Helloooo...Economically, the music played, we all danced, but the ballroom closed.

Kitchen table talk - do the math: I need 70% of my income to support my family, 40% for taxes; therefore in 10 years I'll be broke।

Category 10 Hurricane Sarah headed directly to the Democratic Party

Free time is the ultimate peace of mind
Criticism without solution is the ultimate waste of time

Knock, knock. Why am I not here? Convenience.How can I reconcile convenience? Roe v Wade!

Oh! Hey, Wall Street and Main Street are the same--wake up!

Funny, when you read a book about God you never get to the end!

In life we all travel different routes, only to reach the same destination।

Interestingly, we learn more about our friends by what they don't tell us।

Seriously, very seriously, we are a country that appreciates the "game." We need to win the most important game in our history, not tomorrow, but today. Remember Normandy? Remember the Manhattan project? Remember our quest for the moon? That's who we are. The country and its people with the most energy chips wins!

Senator Barack Obama--populist gone wild!
Senator John McCain--what's today's date?

Congress has reached its summer recess। Finally the energy plan is at hand। Gather two sticks, and begin rubbing them together। If you're unaware of the technique, lessons will be given on alternate Wednesdays in your local Social Security Office and Motor Vehicle Division।

Hey, spend the money--save the memories!