The CIA protects each man, women, and child in this great country, however the kids in congress say, “The CIA is lying, the CIA is lying, the CIA is lying.” No wonder the sales of firearms are skyrocketing!

Where does the water go--that water that stays on when you stay in the shower too long--that water that stays on when you brush your teeth too long? Does it leave the Universe? I don’t think so! Wait, let’s call the Green Commission.

Mommy somebody is at the door! Who is he? He is from the government and wants to make us breakfast and spoon feed us. CLOSE THE DOOR!!!